Monday, October 17, 2016

(in-class first draft peer-revision session)

let's peer-review our drafts! 

Student assistants will help in this very important session.  

We'll look for:

* Non-content related, followed by Content-related, issues.

Non-content related (easy ones):

1- proper heading, top, left hand side,
2- double spaced, indented paragraphs,
3- proper thesis-counter distribution of paragraphs,
4- proper "who talks" prefacing of paragraphs, i.e.,

SSM (Same-sex marriage advocates vs Same-sex marriage critics)
Fast Food (FF advocates vs FF critics)
Government  Surveillance (GS-advocates vs GS critics)
Police Brutality (Law Enforcement advocates, Law Enforcement critics) 
FActory Farms (Factory farm advocates, Factory farm critics)

5- proper bibliography MLA source presentation 
a) Include in the text the first item that appears in the Work Cited entry that corresponds to the citation (e.g. author name, article name, website name, film name).
b) No URLs in-text. Only provide partial URLs titles, i.e., domain name, like or as opposed to or

6- Proper distribution of outside-sources per paragraph,

7- Proper ratio of source vs. argument (30% souce, 70% argument),

(More difficult issues)

8- Check for "too-wordy" (long sentences, sentences should be short and clear)

9- Check for "dropping quotes" issues!

a) the writer must prepare the reader for each quote,  b) provide context for each quotation. c) attribute each quotation to its source: tell the reader who is telling the quote. d) avoid "he/she said" attribution-rut! USE THESE: she/he adds, remarks, replies, states, comments, points out, argues, suggests, proposes, declares, opines, etc. e) lead the quote with a colon, example:
Professor Ohkenshot denies Marx's claim that capitalism causes poverty: "Poverty predates capitalism by two thousand and odd years of civilization." 
10- Check mark for colloquialism:
"you" (one), "kinda" (kind of), "it is like," (similar to, such as), "okay" or "OK," "real" & "really" (very), "sorta" or "sort of" (rather, somewhat), "pretty" (very), "anyways"(anyway), "a lot," (several, many), "kids"(children),  "cops" (policeman), "guys" (men)... etc.
11. Check mark for "fillers":  "basically," "even," "just", etc.
12. Check mark for redundant adjectives: "totally unique," "completely finished," "thoroughly complete," "productively useful," etc,

this is a great writing center!

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