Let's peer-review our drafts!
25 MINUTES EACH PARTICIPANT. STOP BEING NICE. BE TOUGH AND WRITE DOWN ANYTHING YOU FIND IN NEED OF CORRECTION. THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD ADVICE. 1- Proper heading, top, left-hand side,
Bertha Gonzalez
First Draft Philosophy Paper,
Phi 2010 Honors MWF
2-DONT FORGET! Times New Roman pt. 12 font, double spaced, indented paragraphs, separate page for bibliography. The bibliography page is titled Bibliography.
Title: middle, bold. You must present a title that represents a distillation of the content of your paper.
NO FRONT-AND-BACK DRAFTS!
MATTERS OF CLARITY
3- FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS: Two-point thesis composed of first: declaration-sentence followed by an explanation sentence. Same with the counter! Be clear and succinct. Less is more. These thesis and counter-paragraphs don't need to be long.
4- Proper prefacing of each paragraph. The reader must understand "who owns the paragraph," (begin with either "advocate" or "critic"). Whether "same-sex marriage advocates" vs "same-sex marriage critics" "fast-food advocates" vs "fast-food critics," or "government surveillance advocates" vs "government surveillance critics," etc. It doesn't matter if it sounds cacophonous.
4.5- Internal coherence: Check paragraphs 3, and 5 for arguments 1 and 2 of your thesis and paragraphs 4, and 6 for arguments 1 and 2 of the counter.
4- Proper prefacing of each paragraph. The reader must understand "who owns the paragraph," (begin with either "advocate" or "critic"). Whether "same-sex marriage advocates" vs "same-sex marriage critics" "fast-food advocates" vs "fast-food critics," or "government surveillance advocates" vs "government surveillance critics," etc. It doesn't matter if it sounds cacophonous.
4.5- Internal coherence: Check paragraphs 3, and 5 for arguments 1 and 2 of your thesis and paragraphs 4, and 6 for arguments 1 and 2 of the counter.
There must be a correspondence between these paragraphs. Example: if you find anything in paragraph 5 that doesn't correspond to your second argument in your thesis, the draft suffers from internal coherence. Pay attention to this point.
5- Argument vs. quote ratio (70% for argument, 30% for quotes). I will reject paragraphs that are just copied and pasted. I need your voice. We've talked about how to make a copy/paste paragraph look admissible.
6- How to present a quote in a paragraph: Each quote must be properly prefaced, what I call "dropping quotes" issues!
5- Argument vs. quote ratio (70% for argument, 30% for quotes). I will reject paragraphs that are just copied and pasted. I need your voice. We've talked about how to make a copy/paste paragraph look admissible.
6- How to present a quote in a paragraph: Each quote must be properly prefaced, what I call "dropping quotes" issues!
a) You must prepare the reader for each quote by providing context for each quotation. b) Attribute each quotation to its source: tell the reader who is writing the quote and job description, c) Avoid "he/she said" USE THESE SYNONYMS INSTEAD: she/he adds, remarks, replies, states, comments, points out, argues, suggests, proposes, declares, opines, etc. d) lead the quote with a colon, example:
Penn State University Professor Oakenshot denies Marx's claim that capitalism causes poverty when he declares: "Poverty predates capitalism by two thousand and odd years of civilization." or, John Beherman, professor of Biology at Berkeley University argues that____________" instead of just dropping the quote without introduction. (Oakenshot, 46).
MATTERS OF CONVENTION
7- Proper bibliography MLA source presentation
a) Include in the text the first item that appears in the Work Cited entry that corresponds to the citation (e.g. author name, article name, website name, film name).
b) No URLs in-text. Only provide partial URLs titles, i.e., domain name, like CNN.com or Forbes.com as opposed to http://www.cnn.com or http://www.forbes.com.
MATTERS OF STYLE
8- Check for "too-wordy" sentences. This is a no-no. Sentences should be short and clear. If the sentences are long, cut them in two.
9- Checkmark for improper interjection of thesis into counter. Each side has a paragraph to expose its point. You are not to express your view inside the counter's paragraph.
9- Checkmark for improper interjection of thesis into counter. Each side has a paragraph to expose its point. You are not to express your view inside the counter's paragraph.
10- Check mark for colloquialism. These are prohibited:
12- Check mark for redundant adjectives: "totally unique," "completely finished," "thoroughly complete," "productively useful," etc,
"you" (one), "kinda" (kind of), "it is like," (similar to, such as), "okay" or "OK," "real" & "really" (very), "sorta" or "sort of" (rather, somewhat), "pretty" (very), "anyways"(anyway), "a lot," (several, many), "kids"(children), "cops" (policeman), "guys" (men)... etc.11- Check mark for "fillers": "basically," "absolutely", "definitely" "certainly," "for all intents and purposes," "due to the fact that" (use "because"), etc.
12- Check mark for redundant adjectives: "totally unique," "completely finished," "thoroughly complete," "productively useful," etc,
