Friday, March 4, 2016

after reading your second assignment I find the following........


1. a good deal of preparation goes into the first two paragraphs. you need to find THE BEST TWO ARGUMENTS you can find, for your thesis and for your counter. not just something you heard or pops into your head. you need THE BEST ARGUMENTS. once you have them present them in the best possible language.

SO, YOU NEED MORE RESEARCH!

some of you write in this sort of "casual talk," which doesn't apply here. these points must be presented not necessarily in a technical jargon, but neither casually. apply journalistic standard here. you say it in a way that is accessible but INFORMED. write in a way that shows that YOU KNOW YOUR TOPIC UPSIDE DOWN. what that mean is that YOU NEED MORE RESEARCH. go back to those points and make them really good.

2. remember that each point has two parts: the first sentence states the point. look at this example from a "government surveillance advocate": 

In times of heightened public security, moderate government surveillance is beneficial. Public opinion polls conducted in European cities, during the spike in terrorist chats, show that surveillance can actually detect and neutralize potential harm and save people from harm.     

or this,

The legalization of marijuana is a good economy policy.Under the rule of law, legalization will create jobs and economic opportunities in the formal economy -instead of thriving in the illicit market.

the first sentence (yellow) presents, the second, (orange) explains.

3. do not add points in the subsequent paragraphs that you HAVE NOT PREVIOUSLY PRESENTED. this shows lack of coherence.

4. Start each paragraph by stating who talks: Use always the prefix "advocates" or "critics." So, you have "government surveillance advocates," "factory farm advocates," "#metoo advocates," "A.I. advocates," "global warming advocates," etc, and the same with critics. don't mind the cacophony. this paper has many different points and the reader has to make sense of them.

5. DO NOT SHOW BIAS AGAINST YOUR COUNTER. generally your counter's paragraph is less elaborated and properly thought than your thesis. this is not good. they only have three paragraphs. MAKE THEM LOOK GOOD.

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