Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Monday, September 20, 2010
MWF, 11am
36 comments:
Malaika
said...
Being a person who strongly roots for love I can say that society has and will always have an impact on us no matter how hard we try. And this issue of love is no different because we have books,movies,shows and so many more that depicts what and how love should be.I found it amazing of how a couple will get married assuming they love each other and then havin one spouse go out and cheat.yeah "they" say love is sometimes painful but how can you love someone and vowed to love and be with them forever, yet is pleasuring another person with the same hands and body,who claimed love his spouse.society of course has its way of defining love and anyone who can't abide the guidelines or follow these certain behaviors fall out of range of what love is.and even the issue of respect is based on society's perspective of it for it you repect someone you can also say that you care for that person. But if someone who say they respect someone and at a bad time let an inapropriate word come out toward that person,does that mean that they never respected that person?I'm not sure I can conclude that so easily.love is a variable. It changes based on the person defining it. And we can never just plant it down to just a few words.
I certainly agree with you Malaika, when you imply that love is one of the words that are very challenging to define. However, what happened to the thing that we can’t explain or define or even cannot prove? One would say it does not exist. If we cannot put love into words how can we possibly communicate it? Some would say we could express it by actions, and nonverbal communication, or even sex. Therefore, could we say that love is our actions, emotions, and our desire to sexual interactions? If it was so what happen to our value as human that differ us from animals. From this point of view I would definitely agree with the idea that love is our desire to procreate respectfully.
I personally think that love is just a concept for something no one can explain. Everyone feels it different, everyone have an explanation for it. But who can really explain love??? Nobody can explain it completely. I really like the Greek definition of love where you have different love for family, friends, and a sexual love, but is really love or a relationship we have which has arise from necessity and which we give for granted?? I will say that is what we take as love. In reality and in our environment if we analyze the relationship of creatures from other species they behave a lot like us. What we will call family love, like love from mom and dad is just an instinct nature give to all living organism to care for their offspring so the species can survive over time. What we call love for friends we see it as well in nature as creatures of the same species with no relationship help each other out just to survive. And what we call sexual love is just the necessity from every creature in this planet to pass on their genes. No wander sex is the second thing that comes to mind after love, that perfect person or creature is just in the same interest to feel “love” for the general and personal good.
Now that Malaika tries to tide love and fidelity together, that’s a whole different story, no animal is meant to be monogamous in this planet except for a very, very few. If we again look at the environment we can see that a lot of animals do the same thing we do of staying together to raise offspring but that does not mean that they don’t have sex with other animals, it is a natural instinct to proliferate our genes, and to make the best for the species.
Just for reference of no monogamy in the animal kingdom:
I never understood how someone could “fall” in love. I mean really, love (in the romantic sense) is just the name for a recipe of feelings. With ingredients like: companionship, lust, need, and want. Thinking about it in a logical sense makes the dread of falling in love, easy to avoid. When in a relationship, one can understand the love two people feel towards one another simply by categorizing and defining every affection his or her other shows. Every word spoken, every caress, and every promise. “ You’ve been on my mind all day” means: seeking companionship. “ I can’t wait to have you in my arms” means: lust “ I feel lost without you” means: need We’re all animals, it’s in our nature to seek companionship, protection, someone to fit our needs and wants. So is that all there is to love? This is the simple explanation to something so complex? If it’s such a simple recipe, why the drama? Why the exaggerated suffering? Well, because like everything in this intricate human world, love is a subject that logic in particular, cannot give any input. In the romantic and melodic words of Miguel de Cervantes, “El amor y la afición con facilidad ciegan los ojos del entendimiento.” Forgive me if you don’t know spanish, but I could not do justice to this quote through an english translation.
@ Luis.....im pretty sure you wouldnt want someone to call you an animal in whichever context you put it...so it's kind of pointless to use animals as an example or basis for our wrong actions.we all know that we were born as sinners if you're the Godly type..so since evil is engraved within us, i guess it makes it ok to kill someone..im sure your respond to that Will be "no".it's just the same way.we' share a lot of similarities with the animals but i wouldnt consider them matin with múltiple partners to be an example to follow because they are just trying to populate their kingdom as we're extinguishing them..we on the other hand aré just selfish and incapable of bein satisfied
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her. Everyone has a definition for love.Love is not constant;it is a variable like x.
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her.Love is not a constant;it is a variable like x.
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her.Love is not a constant;it is a variable like x.
Ah, Love. It seems the more civilized we become, the more we have to cook our meat so that we may "enjoy" it; hear me out here. Before we began compressing ourselves into tight nit groups from which civilization emerged we were one with nature. Hunger was a demand for supplementation; for raw, uncooked meat or vegetables or berries, whatever we could find to quench that fathomless pang in our guts. Our stomachs chose our menus, not our taste glands. When anger crept into our tiny minds (actually, neanderthals had much bigger brains than homo-sapiens and its been debated amongst top evolutionary scientist who indeed was the brighter species) we usually reached for the nearest blunt object and smacked the object of our anger senseless. Art? Some drawings on the walls of our caves which were probably strictly for some kind of communication, I don't picture cave men huddled around a particularly good piece of cave art debating wether the artist meant to convey a feeling of disillusionment or reckless abandon. And sex? Besides a form of domination and procreation had no other connotation attached to it. That came with civilization. When raw meat began tasting too raw. When survival began to be taken for granted. Once that happens, we begin to create a new world of complications for ourselves because we no longer have to deal with survival which is the ultimate goal in naked nature. Otters aren't trying to load up their bank accounts, grizzly bears aren't spending hours debating what color fur to wear for the day, they're just trying to live, man. They have no time for Jersey Shore and I-phones. My point is this. Maybe love is the "cooked" version of raw desire. Its a justification we place on something in order to feel "in place" within this world or self-made parameters we've created for ourselves. Ultimately, we're creatures just like anything else. Procreation is in our DNA, only survival is no longer the game. Now we dress it up with funky colors and patterns and flaunt it around night clubs, we put pieces of rubber in front of it because we only want the pleasure aspect of it. The game has been the same since the emergence of life. It's just got a new fashion. I do believe limbic resonance is part of it. Serotonin definitely plays a role, a disease? I don't think so. If we were to stand by the belief that love is a disease then we would have to classify anything that causes irrational behavior a disease. And whose keeping score? Who holds the grand rule book of rational behavior? I'm sure these three piece suit wearing lawyers and doctors who walk around looking frustrated look like they're being pretty irrational to, say, a buddhist monk who lives in the Himalayas and believes the only reason we live is to discover the self. Anyway, I believe it all boils down to life trying to continue life. Procreation. Picking the best choice mate is part of it. Got to pass on those genes successfully. But do we have to stay with that person the rest of our lives? I don't think we do, but i think we've collectively established this sense of morals that can cause feelings of deep guilt if betrayed so we stick with our "loved" ones and tell each other stories about how real love sticks through to the end. No one wants hurt feelings in this politically correct, backwards, crazy world. But its all stories anyway. Folk tales that have been snowballing down the mountain of time since we first uttered "wow!" (I believe, quite logically, that that had to be the first word ever uttered by anyone) our stories shape our realities and to those who can read between the lines, more power to you, play the game (and shh!), to those blinded by the magnificent colors and swirls, keep paddling, your soul mate is just around the bend.
Malaika, We ARE animals. We share about 90% of our DNA with them and even anthropologists study the social behaviors of chimpanzees and other primates in order to get insight into our beginnings. We didn't end up here magically. The same evolutionary processes which shape everything else in nature, shaped us. We are nature and our species is Homo-sapien-sapien, a species, which like every other known species on the planet falls into a categorization we call the, you got it, Animal Kingdom!
Love is a complicated subject because not everyone views love the same way. Because of our society we are influenced in many ways about what love should be. What we read, see, and hear really does have an impact on how we perceive love to be. Love does not have just one meaning it has many meaning and that’s what makes it beautiful and ugly at the same time. When you are dealing with feeling it can be beautiful or it can be ugly for the simple fact that feelings are unstable, especially when you are dealing with two people. You have double the emotions and double the crazy that you have to join together to make love work harmoniously.
One can never certainly say what love stems from. We've all heard people claim "love at first site" or "I hated him at first, but then I realized I loved him". Is there a definite reason why we love? Of course there isn't. Humans, by nature, are designed to mate. That's the whole reason we have sexual organs and do not reproduce asexually. To me, the word "love" was a word given to a strong feeling of desire towards another person. People fall in and out of love all the time, it's not binding; but it's even better that this is so, because it gives us a reason to meet other individuals in hopes that we can rediscover this exciting adrenaline rush. Personally, I don't believe that soul mates exist. There isn't solely one person out there who is the only person you can be compatible and happy with. There are different people who bring out the different aspects of your personality and if you like this "new you", you keep your partner, and if not, you find a new one. Feelings of love could begin at the brain. A rush or serotonin that occurs when you come across the smell of another person, or the sound of their voice, the touch of their skin, that causes you to experience rush of uncertainty and happiness that you then classify as love. But, you can't have love without respect. Those who stay in toxic relationships because they "love the other person" are full of it. I'm sorry, but it's really issues of self-esteem. This abusive partner has diminished all feelings of self-worth and have caused their partner to feel like they'll never find anyone as good as their partner, so they may as well stay. That's even more worrisome than the actual physical violence. Those abusers are also self-conscious. They feel like they need threats and displays of strength in order to make their partner stay in the relationship for fear that they may find another companion. They call it love but in reality it's possession. This is my partner, if I can't have them, no one can- but you better believe I will. Using love as a safety net and a hope that things will get better is completely irrational because love does not exist in the relationship. Love is supposed to be a positive emotion that allows you to feel like a better person and feel like you're helping someone discover their own positive qualities. If this is not occurring, love will not get you through it.
Love. There is a lot to address with this topic. First of all I’d like to say that Jose has a very good metaphor for how love developed over time. But in the same way that we cannot compare medicine of the past to the medicine we have today, I think love and morals of society should be analyzed primarily by their context today. We have evolved this sense of love that goes beyond picking a partner based on producing offspring with good genetics. You might see a “beautiful” woman married to an “ugly” man, or vice versa, and en even better example would be homosexuals. The love of homosexuals has nothing to do with passing on genetics, since they will not be able to procreate. I do like the ideas that the Greeks had about love, which shows there can be combinations of emotions felt about loved ones. I understand that we have an evolutionary need to procreate, but society has moved past that and to use the same metaphor as before, in the same way that doctors no longer prescribe bloodletting to a sick patient, we cannot live as the Neanderthals did and only have partners to fulfill our sexual desires.
The problem with love today isn’t the fault of the feeling itself, whether it you want to believe that it is a chemical reaction and nothing more or the souls recognition of its other half, like any other feeling we humans are capable of, comes with its good things and its bad things. Love has inspired masterful works of art, stories that will endure the test of time and feats that will forever ring true in our hearts. The problem today is that love is being marketed to us as a necessity for happiness, Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most profitable holidays of the year, Romantic Comedies, whether good or bad, always make money and for a capitalistic society it is only logical to promote love because it brings in a great influx of cash. Look at any romantic movie in the last couple of years and it always ends with the couple together, joyfully basking in the magnificent and flawless feeling known as love. Every one of these movies follow an age old formula that put hopeless women and tormented boyfriends into the seats of these movies: Boy meets Girl, Boys falls for girl and Girl falls for boy, comedy and/or cute things ensue, they come across a problem that separates them, they resolve it, they live happily ever after. Watch any handful of movies that deals with love, especially romantic comedies, and the formula holds true. This fanciful and innocent view of love could be to blame for the high divorce rates and obsessive/destructive relationships many teens go through…but what if we were to look at love for what it really is? People tend to forget that to the beauty of love there is an ugly side waiting to break from the surface. Love, stripped of all its romantic ties, is nothing but argument after argument, infidelity, lies, frustration, oppression and lust. Baudelaire once said that "There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude. He wants to be 'two'. The man of genius wants to be 'one'... It is this horror of solitude, the need to lose oneself in the external flesh, that man nobly calls 'the need to love'." Love is nothing more than the need to be with someone to quell the feelings of loneliness. It has nothing to do with finding something in another person to make you stronger or someone to complete you and grow old with, it’s simply a cure for loneliness and nothing more. Baudelaire even goes to say that “There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging from the breast,” which is true because in the end our “love” spawns a child. You need to look no further than the media to see that violence that love brings to people. Teenage abuse is high, date raping is a common occurrence, killing another because of infidelity happens more than you think. The problem here is that people choose to accept one side of love instead of viewing it as a whole...
The problem with love today isn’t the fault of the feeling itself, whether it you want to believe that it is a chemical reaction and nothing more or the souls recognition of its other half, like any other feeling we humans are capable of, comes with its good things and its bad things. Love has inspired masterful works of art, stories that will endure the test of time and feats that will forever ring true in our hearts. The problem today is that love is being marketed to us as a necessity for happiness, Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most profitable holidays of the year, Romantic Comedies, whether good or bad, always make money and for a capitalistic society it is only logical to promote love because it brings in a great influx of cash. Look at any romantic movie in the last couple of years and it always ends with the couple together, joyfully basking in the magnificent and flawless feeling known as love. Every one of these movies follow an age old formula that put hopeless women and tormented boyfriends into the seats of these movies: Boy meets Girl, Boys falls for girl and Girl falls for boy, comedy and/or cute things ensue, they come across a problem that separates them, they resolve it, they live happily ever after. Watch any handful of movies that deals with love, especially romantic comedies, and the formula holds true. This fanciful and innocent view of love could be to blame for the high divorce rates and obsessive/destructive relationships many teens go through…but what if we were to look at love for what it really is? People tend to forget that to the beauty of love there is an ugly side waiting to break from the surface. Love, stripped of all its romantic ties, is nothing but argument after argument, infidelity, lies, frustration, oppression and lust. Baudelaire once said that "There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude. He wants to be 'two'. The man of genius wants to be 'one'... It is this horror of solitude, the need to lose oneself in the external flesh, that man nobly calls 'the need to love'." Love is nothing more than the need to be with someone to quell the feelings of loneliness. It has nothing to do with finding something in another person to make you stronger or someone to complete you and grow old with, it’s simply a cure for loneliness and nothing more. Baudelaire even goes to say that “There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging from the breast,” which is true because in the end our “love” spawns a child. You need to look no further than the media to see that violence that love brings to people. Teenage abuse is high, date raping is a common occurrence, killing another because of infidelity happens more than you think. The problem here is that people choose to accept one side of love instead of viewing it as a whole...
As amazing as love is it can also be one of the most painful feelings in the world. The pain of separation, the hurting of loss and the feeling of being lost and alone when confused all come with the feeling of love. Love is the perfect example of a double edged sword in which it can be a great thing and a painful thing. That's the problem most relationships suffer from...couples fall in love and forget that with beauty and happiness comes everything that isn't associated with it. We become so enamored and disillusioned that the slightest trial comes along and it suddenly breaks everything down. These trials are a necessary evil because it will define just how much you want to be with that person or how far you really are willing to go to have them at your side. Couples forget that a relationship is not easy, it is difficult and it comes with many problems but in the end it is all worth it. Imagine if everything were easy? If everything was easy we wouldn't value it as much as we would if we had to give blood, sweat and tears for it. We need to remind people that love takes hard work, a mutual respect for one another and a deeper understanding of yourself and the other person. The way the system has promoted love to us has really damaged the purity that lies within it. Any emotion when taken to an extreme is dangerous and love is no different. Society has taught us to believe love a certain way to make money, to lead us down a false path that will only end in destruction. Humans are capable of loving someone truly and deeply, we are capable of beauty. It will require a huge paradigm shift to unveil our true potential but it would be asinine to believe that corporations don’t play on these feelings to get to our wallets.
Love: one of the broadest emotions in today's conditioned society. On the subject of love, a lot like anything else, the notion can play out into many different forms and outcomes depending on experience. Since the day we are born we are taught to learn love, expect love, and reciprocate that love from one person to the next. The way we love is anything but self-taught. Sure, we all carry the desire and the feeling that we need to love, but is that in no way something we've cultivated from our peers, the media, and the general spoon-fed illness of today's modern society? For example, a young child is beaten daily by his father, and also sees his mother take a beating. The outcome of this can turn out in many different ways, but let's just say the child supposes that "this is the way it works", "this is how I show love", "and this is how I tell you that I care". The child grows up and soon enough he is beating his own wife and child as well. Not to mention that love is somewhat of a canvas, you can paint it to look however you want it to. Let's say you're an angry person, and you suppress those feelings of anger, you may use your idea of love to exude those thoughts and those feelings into a form that works best for you. In the end, a lot of what we consider to be love is a thought up ideal and/or a made up feeling to cater to what we "think" we need.
In response to both Luis and Malaika, what Luis is saying does hold group as far as some sociologists are concerned. Some do believe that the concepts of sex and love and monogamy are separate entities. I think monogamy tied with love is a state of living that has been endorsed by a plethora of religions in order to be able to control the masses. As Luis states there is a very small number of animals that are monogamous, and the rate gets even lower in mammalian species. Although we utilize social monogamy as an ideal state in which to reproduce, it does not imply that we must be sexually monogamous. As history has shown, love is not needed to produce children, and monogamy is not essential to love. A good example of this is courtly love. It is possible to love without sex and it is equally possible to have sex in the absence of love. The concept that if someone has sex with someone outside of their relationship is among the greatest betrayals is a western invention. I do not believe that if a partner has sex outside of a relationship it is not that they are not in love with their partner, for sex is an instinct and love is something completely different. They are just expressing instinct although in many cases they truly no longer feel that they love their partners but this feeling is not essential for someone to seek another sexual partner. Thus in theory sex is just sex, which is an animalistic instinct to procreate, although some animal groups, including humans, have the capacity to feel pleasure from sex. And this theory doesn't take into account homosexual sex which is a separate topic altogether.
Love is a word thrown around very easily, yet we know very little of it. I myself don’t think love is an exact science, but the most complex collection of emotions we feel. From a psychological perspective every human seeks attachment and security. Love I find to be more than those, more than a degree of romance, companionship, and care towards another human being. It is not only in relationships that we find love. There is love within yourself, love for money, health, cars, clothes, goals, life, words, everything. Everything imaginable we seek and use love in. So what is love? Can it be categorized with adjectives? Can the scientific method ever solve this question? It is possible but I don’t think it will be defined soon. Love has many branches, and many outcomes, many ways in showing itself. Although it is individual in every sense of the word, there is a right way to love, and it stops where another person is hurt by your love, abused, physically and mentally as we see with the celebrity example. This feeling is what makes us human after all, so let’s use it wisely. One love.
Neurologist proves it, that loves is a neurological effect with the serotonin, testosterone etc. Certain research shows that sometimes even rapid heartbeat could be mistaking as love. The discussion of love and neurological affects are very similar to the mind and the brain. Is there something as the mind? Is there something as love? Love could be an abstract thing just like the mind is; it can be also a figure of imagination planted in our brain during our upbringing. Whatever love is I do believe however it takes all of the big 3 to recognize its presence that’s passion, intimacy, and caring.
Throughout time, the ontological definition of love and its functionality has undergone modification. While the concept of a functional society has 'evolved', so has the framework in which humanity expresses their needs and satiates their desires. In our generation, we find ourselves surrounded with unavoidable external stimulation that directly or subliminally affects our decision making process and what is considered our baseline reality. This once paradoxical immaterial form of gravitational attraction we call love, has been paraded en masse to the point where its potentially altruistic aspects are exploited commercially and as a form of instrumentality for the reinforcement of an irrational status quo. It has become inseparable from our synthetically composed, materialistically unquenchable values. The manner in which we market anything to appease lovers, manufactures a grim cycle of dependency. Commonly we see individuals who continuously flaunt their passionate relationships and never reach a state of wholeness as a result. We use relationships as forms of outlets in which we may plug or unplug depending on circumstance. An individual who feels incomplete with him/herself would then journey about in a quest to find solace through another.. There, the embarkation could end with success or failure--or a mixture of both. We seem to have reached a point where the marketplace has a direct conduit to our affect; where "an ever-larger part of the population becomes one huge captive audience-- captured not by a totalitarian regime but by the liberties of the citizens whose media of amusement and elevation compel the Other to partake of their sounds, sights, and smells.(1)" We watch and read about other popularized human beings and the form in which they conceive and project their love. Inevitably linked to monetary sustenance and the security of prestigious possessions, we further the serious and evict the opposition.
Before we look at the world containing love, let’s look at it without love. What would this planet be like without love, every kind of love? Carelessness, dryness, emotionless. Most emotions derive essentially from the feeling of love. Let us not mistake there are different types of love. The most general categories are the love that is innate and the love that is acquired. And under these categories are Eros, Philos and Agape. Eros is known as erotic love. But to dissect this kind of love I’d say that physical attraction can be without love. However “romantic love” has some sort of desire for one another. Attraction can be a strengthening bond between a man and a woman. However, people often mistake this kind of “desire” for unconditional love. Eros may be a selfish love at times given the idea that when physical attraction fades then there is no more love, in which case this is not true love. And just for my feminist young adult side note: I'd love for the world to stop defending cheating lovers. In the case of TRUE love you do not hurt or betray the one you love. (unless you both are swingers, in that case go for it.) Then there is Philos, a friendship kind of love. Between two people this love is mutual. This category revolves around give and take. So to say that you have Eros and Philos together in one relationship is to say you have a pretty strong relationship. But the highest of all is Agape, unconditional love. For me, this love is the love I have for my family. They can do whatever their heart desires and I will still lay down my life for them. It is selfless and has no boundaries. Love does not intentionally hurt but always cares for. All in all, to me nothing else is important without love. Sure financial stability and other factors of life will contribute to what we define as happiness, but any of this without love amounts to nothing.
It is very hard for me at this point in my life to truly explain to myself what love is. While I agree with the color wheel concept of love, I feel it is incomplete. Just as there is a vast array of hues resulting from infinite combinations of colors, shouldn't it be the same with emotions- if comparing it to this wheel? And can't love transcend into these different kinds as the relationship goes on?
Must it be so technical? So black and white?
Since I believe desire to be a product of the brain (for I attribute it to our chemical drive to procreate), I must admit I believe love is a product of the mind... And the mind, as we have seen, is not easily understood. The explanation of its very existence leaves us with questions, theories, and that simple "I can't explain why or how, but it's there" feeling. I feel that because love is in the mind, we can't every well label it as one would a disease or a limb. Essentially, it is qualia. We each experience love different as time goes by and our lovers change. We might love our husbands and wives of years differently today than we did months prior. We might love someone a certain was and love another entirely differently with the same conviction or intensity. We might feel different elements of compassionate love and passionate love, and then feel entirely different elements or elements that have not yet been categorized in either! Because love is such a subjective emotion, it would be too ambitious to try to label it for a general audience. We can only base it on what we observe (and as we all know, deceit is not so easily observable) or what we simply feel ourselves (a fault, given qualia).
What we can contend to is that the media abuses this emotion and tries to make it marketable. It gives us a false idea of what love SHOULD be rather than portraying it as a unique experience for everyone. It gives us delusions on what our relationships should be like- making things feel all too scripted, and tragic when something doesn't go according to plan. It's staining our potential experience by giving us concepts of what can't even be controlled! And how fair is that to an emotion so complex we can't even put into words? In all fairness to love, we're trying to put into a general definition an emotion no two people feel the same.
I honestly believe love has never been able to be define, sure you can separate it in categories, but not even scientists know what love really is. I admit the system does influence the way we imagine love is, most of us when we are little kids we picture love as being a state of perfection and happiness, at least this is the way is portrayed through Hollywood. Yet as we begin to grow up and experience life, we find out the truth that even though love is an amazing feeling towards a living being, it can also be destructive. As we progressive through life, we learn what love really is. The key is that we all as individuals perceive it differently. Loving one another is possible indeed, we can first start by applying the Golden Rule, which pretty much is a standard of living in which peace and harmony would thrive. Just think about it, no one doing anything that wouldn't want to be done to them. I simply wouldn't steal, so no one would steal from me, I simply wouldn't kill so no one would kill me. I don't think there is one specific way in loving each other, but I am sure we can start by helping one another as much as we can. Love should be given out with expecting nothing in return, its a natural feeling which we all possess. I don't believe money should be associated with money, because its the media which has twisted the idea that in order to obtain love you must have money. I like to believe love overcomes everything, and should be practice more often in today's society.
Just as Malaika said, “Love is a variable. It changes based on the person defining it. And we can never just plant it down to just a few words.” I love my mother, I love animals, I love my friends, girlfriends etc… My perception of love might or is different than most of you guys. Why? Maybe in some culture beating a woman is an act of love or sacrificing an animal is an act of love. In today’s society, it seems as if love is texting and constantly on the phone all day talking about everything and anything. A little life experience; two of my exes… I stop talking to them for 24 hours and they swear I stop loving them. One question, how can you tell a guy/girl you love them but in one month there’s a breakup? I notice many people confuse love with lust, obsession and addiction. To me if I have to define love I would say love is a murderer, medicine, affection, trust, passion, jealousy, hatred, friendship, obsession, infatuation etc…. Even though, it is a contradiction that love can be both affection and hatred. Love could relate to all those nouns and more. The real definition of love is based on one perspective. By the way, I love you all. But in what way?
This commentary seeks to define love in many different contexts. It defines love as passionate as is written about in poetry. It also talks about love as selflessness as in a lasting non passionate friendship type relationship. It also talks about love sustained by cultural prodding through media influence. I can understand distinguishing the first two. There are different kinds of love that foster and are sustained by different kinds of emotions but these have been present as long as the human condition. It does not make sense to me to say that this is sustained by some sort of recent cultural media influence when love has been around as long as man. I cannot agree to put a modern interpretation on a phenomena that is age old. If love precedes modern culture and media, modern culture and media certainly do not give rise to love in its many contexts. Ultimately the most common connotation of love is that of passion and heightened emotion that is the basis for poems, novels, and short stories, songs, and art. Even biblically the story of King David defines the two kinds of love mentioned above. The passionate love of David and Batsheva caused David to send Batsheva's husband to his death on the front line so David may have Batsheva as his wife. Secondly, David was in a friendship wife Jonothan which was based on selfless friendship where each loved the other so they would give up their own life for one another. These contexts have not changed much today.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."-La Rochefoucauld. I really believe in this statement we all look for this thing called "love" and put so much pressure in a relationship we forget to just live and learn. Family, cultures,and society all have a different way of seeing true love. As much as I have heard about it, I've personally never seen this ghost called "true love", all I can hope is that society won't get in my way of the image of love, and my beliefs and feelings will show me its grave.
Love. There are many different types of love out there. Love for a person, a career, or an interest. The most thought about is love for another person. I believe before you can truly love someone you need to love yourself. Can we all honestly say we love everything about ourselves? I think with time and experience we learn to love the person we are and will become. In that journey we discover different types of love. Love for a person teaches us new things and make us do things we never thought possible. It can also have its down side we lose our self-esteem become dependent on another person and blame them for our wrong doing, sometimes even losing our own identity. You live and you learn. There is no age or time for love it comes to all of us when its suppose to, some of more than once in a life time. I think people should find a different type of love and stop looking for the love of another human being and love yourself first! because in the end it will find you when you least expect it.
It seems as if most of us can agree that love leaves a nasty sting on the soul, yet it's there and we still pursue it. Anyone can say that it's a chemical reaction that happens in your brain and dismiss it. Yes, go ahead and put it in a box and become cold as the years of solitude pass and you find yourself gathering an unusually large amount of cats to throw at children who walk too close to your homes. Or maybe you'd like to live a little and embrace it. Accept it in your life. Yes, we all know the truth that love can hurt us. But so can a trip to the grocery store if someone runs a red light and t-bones you. Yes, this can happen to you, but will it really stop you from getting your Strawberry Kool-Aid and Spaghetti-O's? Moving along, we've all been hurt and may have been treated poorly, and have been beaten, and cheated on , and we can sit here and scream and cry about it because it hurts so bad. Or, we can get over it, maybe have a good laugh at how retarded we were to stay with that person, learn from these mistakes, and find someone who can skillfully make you feel good and treat you right, in all the ways you want them to. If you're not sure exactly what you want, maybe you need a written invitation to go out and meet different people. How does this person make me feel about myself? Do I want someone around me that makes me feel this way? How am I treating them? How do I make them feel? Do we respect each other? I honestly enjoy falling in love. I really love the excitement of the idea of being with that person. It really is nice to be able to look forward to seeing someone. To start feeling a warm and fuzzy off of the idea of them. That rush of warm emotion that we immerse each other in when we are together is like no other! On the other hand, I feel like with all the games and abuse and manipulation that's running rampant today, it's becoming more difficult for people to just enjoy the presence of another living, breathing creature. It's sad really how many people are bitter about something that makes you feel so great instead of understanding that it's just a powerful and wonderful emotion that comes in and out of us as it pleases, and being grateful that we are alive and able to experience it when it's there, even if it stings like all hell when it's gone.
Love is a very difficult word to define there are three different types of love companionship, family and friends love, love for other people. I believe that all the different types of love can only be defined be the person, it's on the persons perspective. To me companionship love is a strong affectionate feeling, personal attachment. I also believe one must love themselves before they can love someone else. you can express love through many different ways as in poems, art, and writing. I also believe that there cannot be a true definition of love that everyone can agree on, there are different forms of loving that just can't be define one way.
36 comments:
Being a person who strongly roots for love I can say that society has and will always have an impact on us no matter how hard we try. And this issue of love is no different because we have books,movies,shows and so many more that depicts what and how love should be.I found it amazing of how a couple will get married assuming they love each other and then havin one spouse go out and cheat.yeah "they" say love is sometimes painful but how can you love someone and vowed to love and be with them forever, yet is pleasuring another person with the same hands and body,who claimed love his spouse.society of course has its way of defining love and anyone who can't abide the guidelines or follow these certain behaviors fall out of range of what love is.and even the issue of respect is based on society's perspective of it for it you repect someone you can also say that you care for that person. But if someone who say they respect someone and at a bad time let an inapropriate word come out toward that person,does that mean that they never respected that person?I'm not sure I can conclude that so easily.love is a variable. It changes based on the person defining it. And we can never just plant it down to just a few words.
I certainly agree with you Malaika, when you imply that love is one of the words that are very challenging to define. However, what happened to the thing that we can’t explain or define or even cannot prove? One would say it does not exist. If we cannot put love into words how can we possibly communicate it? Some would say we could express it by actions, and nonverbal communication, or even sex. Therefore, could we say that love is our actions, emotions, and our desire to sexual interactions? If it was so what happen to our value as human that differ us from animals. From this point of view I would definitely agree with the idea that love is our desire to procreate respectfully.
I personally think that love is just a concept for something no one can explain. Everyone feels it different, everyone have an explanation for it. But who can really explain love??? Nobody can explain it completely. I really like the Greek definition of love where you have different love for family, friends, and a sexual love, but is really love or a relationship we have which has arise from necessity and which we give for granted?? I will say that is what we take as love. In reality and in our environment if we analyze the relationship of creatures from other species they behave a lot like us. What we will call family love, like love from mom and dad is just an instinct nature give to all living organism to care for their offspring so the species can survive over time. What we call love for friends we see it as well in nature as creatures of the same species with no relationship help each other out just to survive. And what we call sexual love is just the necessity from every creature in this planet to pass on their genes. No wander sex is the second thing that comes to mind after love, that perfect person or creature is just in the same interest to feel “love” for the general and personal good.
Now that Malaika tries to tide love and fidelity together, that’s a whole different story, no animal is meant to be monogamous in this planet except for a very, very few. If we again look at the environment we can see that a lot of animals do the same thing we do of staying together to raise offspring but that does not mean that they don’t have sex with other animals, it is a natural instinct to proliferate our genes, and to make the best for the species.
Just for reference of no monogamy in the animal kingdom:
http://romanticreport.com/news/are-people-meant-be-monogamous
I never understood how someone could “fall” in love. I mean really, love (in the romantic sense) is just the name for a recipe of feelings. With ingredients like: companionship, lust, need, and want. Thinking about it in a logical sense makes the dread of falling in love, easy to avoid. When in a relationship, one can understand the love two people feel towards one another simply by categorizing and defining every affection his or her other shows. Every word spoken, every caress, and every promise.
“ You’ve been on my mind all day” means: seeking companionship.
“ I can’t wait to have you in my arms” means: lust
“ I feel lost without you” means: need
We’re all animals, it’s in our nature to seek companionship, protection, someone to fit our needs and wants. So is that all there is to love? This is the simple explanation to something so complex? If it’s such a simple recipe, why the drama? Why the exaggerated suffering? Well, because like everything in this intricate human world, love is a subject that logic in particular, cannot give any input. In the romantic and melodic words of Miguel de Cervantes, “El amor y la afición con facilidad ciegan los ojos del entendimiento.” Forgive me if you don’t know spanish, but I could not do justice to this quote through an english translation.
@ Luis.....im pretty sure you wouldnt want someone to call you an animal in whichever context you put it...so it's kind of pointless to use animals as an example or basis for our wrong actions.we all know that we were born as sinners if you're the Godly type..so since evil is engraved within us, i guess it makes it ok to kill someone..im sure your respond to that Will be "no".it's just the same way.we' share a lot of similarities with the animals but i wouldnt consider them matin with múltiple partners to be an example to follow because they are just trying to populate their kingdom as we're extinguishing them..we on the other hand aré just selfish and incapable of bein satisfied
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her. Everyone has a definition for love.Love is not constant;it is a variable like x.
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her.Love is not a constant;it is a variable like x.
I think love is a desire for someone or someting.It is an empty space in our mental state that we wish to fill.Everyone has this empty state.Wicked men have it because they love doing evil things.God has it beacause John 3:16 says so.As the French say,L'amourest un tyran qui n'epargnepersonne. Nevertheless,some people believe that love is sex.they love someone to in theleep with him or her.I think love is a cultural subject.Forinstance,in Haiti the custom is that girls and boys cannot be friends because they are like oil and fire. When we love to much we become sick.We can do crazy things.We can become jealous,and Jealousy makes mankind wicked. There is one condition to be a good lover:Value others as you value yourself.There may exist different kind of love,but there are three most important love. The fist love is a mother's love the second love is a dog's love and the third love is a lover's love.There is no greater pain than a woman who give birth.It is certain that this woman will sherish the result of this pain;women will always sherish their flesh and bones.It is a custom that dog is the loyal friend of man. Once trained,it it is very difficult for a dog to turn against his master. I think love can be evil.When you love and not be loved,if you are not strong ;your love can turn in hate and you can even kill the person yoloved.In Haiti a woman poisoned a man because he refused to love her.Love is not a constant;it is a variable like x.
Ah, Love. It seems the more civilized we become, the more we have to cook our meat so that we may "enjoy" it; hear me out here. Before we began compressing ourselves into tight nit groups from which civilization emerged we were one with nature. Hunger was a demand for supplementation; for raw, uncooked meat or vegetables or berries, whatever we could find to quench that fathomless pang in our guts. Our stomachs chose our menus, not our taste glands. When anger crept into our tiny minds (actually, neanderthals had much bigger brains than homo-sapiens and its been debated amongst top evolutionary scientist who indeed was the brighter species) we usually reached for the nearest blunt object and smacked the object of our anger senseless. Art? Some drawings on the walls of our caves which were probably strictly for some kind of communication, I don't picture cave men huddled around a particularly good piece of cave art debating wether the artist meant to convey a feeling of disillusionment or reckless abandon. And sex? Besides a form of domination and procreation had no other connotation attached to it. That came with civilization. When raw meat began tasting too raw. When survival began to be taken for granted. Once that happens, we begin to create a new world of complications for ourselves because we no longer have to deal with survival which is the ultimate goal in naked nature. Otters aren't trying to load up their bank accounts, grizzly bears aren't spending hours debating what color fur to wear for the day, they're just trying to live, man. They have no time for Jersey Shore and I-phones. My point is this. Maybe love is the "cooked" version of raw desire. Its a justification we place on something in order to feel "in place" within this world or self-made parameters we've created for ourselves. Ultimately, we're creatures just like anything else. Procreation is in our DNA, only survival is no longer the game. Now we dress it up with funky colors and patterns and flaunt it around night clubs, we put pieces of rubber in front of it because we only want the pleasure aspect of it. The game has been the same since the emergence of life. It's just got a new fashion. I do believe limbic resonance is part of it. Serotonin definitely plays a role, a disease? I don't think so. If we were to stand by the belief that love is a disease then we would have to classify anything that causes irrational behavior a disease. And whose keeping score? Who holds the grand rule book of rational behavior? I'm sure these three piece suit wearing lawyers and doctors who walk around looking frustrated look like they're being pretty irrational to, say, a buddhist monk who lives in the Himalayas and believes the only reason we live is to discover the self. Anyway, I believe it all boils down to life trying to continue life. Procreation. Picking the best choice mate is part of it. Got to pass on those genes successfully. But do we have to stay with that person the rest of our lives? I don't think we do, but i think we've collectively established this sense of morals that can cause feelings of deep guilt if betrayed so we stick with our "loved" ones and tell each other stories about how real love sticks through to the end. No one wants hurt feelings in this politically correct, backwards, crazy world. But its all stories anyway. Folk tales that have been snowballing down the mountain of time since we first uttered "wow!" (I believe, quite logically, that that had to be the first word ever uttered by anyone) our stories shape our realities and to those who can read between the lines, more power to you, play the game (and shh!), to those blinded by the magnificent colors and swirls, keep paddling, your soul mate is just around the bend.
Malaika, We ARE animals. We share about 90% of our DNA with them and even anthropologists study the social behaviors of chimpanzees and other primates in order to get insight into our beginnings. We didn't end up here magically. The same evolutionary processes which shape everything else in nature, shaped us. We are nature and our species is Homo-sapien-sapien, a species, which like every other known species on the planet falls into a categorization we call the, you got it, Animal Kingdom!
Love is a complicated subject because not everyone views love the same way. Because of our society we are influenced in many ways about what love should be. What we read, see, and hear really does have an impact on how we perceive love to be. Love does not have just one meaning it has many meaning and that’s what makes it beautiful and ugly at the same time. When you are dealing with feeling it can be beautiful or it can be ugly for the simple fact that feelings are unstable, especially when you are dealing with two people. You have double the emotions and double the crazy that you have to join together to make love work harmoniously.
One can never certainly say what love stems from. We've all heard people claim "love at first site" or "I hated him at first, but then I realized I loved him". Is there a definite reason why we love? Of course there isn't. Humans, by nature, are designed to mate. That's the whole reason we have sexual organs and do not reproduce asexually. To me, the word "love" was a word given to a strong feeling of desire towards another person. People fall in and out of love all the time, it's not binding; but it's even better that this is so, because it gives us a reason to meet other individuals in hopes that we can rediscover this exciting adrenaline rush. Personally, I don't believe that soul mates exist. There isn't solely one person out there who is the only person you can be compatible and happy with. There are different people who bring out the different aspects of your personality and if you like this "new you", you keep your partner, and if not, you find a new one. Feelings of love could begin at the brain. A rush or serotonin that occurs when you come across the smell of another person, or the sound of their voice, the touch of their skin, that causes you to experience rush of uncertainty and happiness that you then classify as love. But, you can't have love without respect. Those who stay in toxic relationships because they "love the other person" are full of it. I'm sorry, but it's really issues of self-esteem. This abusive partner has diminished all feelings of self-worth and have caused their partner to feel like they'll never find anyone as good as their partner, so they may as well stay. That's even more worrisome than the actual physical violence. Those abusers are also self-conscious. They feel like they need threats and displays of strength in order to make their partner stay in the relationship for fear that they may find another companion. They call it love but in reality it's possession. This is my partner, if I can't have them, no one can- but you better believe I will. Using love as a safety net and a hope that things will get better is completely irrational because love does not exist in the relationship. Love is supposed to be a positive emotion that allows you to feel like a better person and feel like you're helping someone discover their own positive qualities. If this is not occurring, love will not get you through it.
Love. There is a lot to address with this topic. First of all I’d like to say that Jose has a very good metaphor for how love developed over time. But in the same way that we cannot compare medicine of the past to the medicine we have today, I think love and morals of society should be analyzed primarily by their context today. We have evolved this sense of love that goes beyond picking a partner based on producing offspring with good genetics. You might see a “beautiful” woman married to an “ugly” man, or vice versa, and en even better example would be homosexuals. The love of homosexuals has nothing to do with passing on genetics, since they will not be able to procreate. I do like the ideas that the Greeks had about love, which shows there can be combinations of emotions felt about loved ones. I understand that we have an evolutionary need to procreate, but society has moved past that and to use the same metaphor as before, in the same way that doctors no longer prescribe bloodletting to a sick patient, we cannot live as the Neanderthals did and only have partners to fulfill our sexual desires.
The problem with love today isn’t the fault of the feeling itself, whether it you want to believe that it is a chemical reaction and nothing more or the souls recognition of its other half, like any other feeling we humans are capable of, comes with its good things and its bad things. Love has inspired masterful works of art, stories that will endure the test of time and feats that will forever ring true in our hearts. The problem today is that love is being marketed to us as a necessity for happiness, Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most profitable holidays of the year, Romantic Comedies, whether good or bad, always make money and for a capitalistic society it is only logical to promote love because it brings in a great influx of cash. Look at any romantic movie in the last couple of years and it always ends with the couple together, joyfully basking in the magnificent and flawless feeling known as love. Every one of these movies follow an age old formula that put hopeless women and tormented boyfriends into the seats of these movies: Boy meets Girl, Boys falls for girl and Girl falls for boy, comedy and/or cute things ensue, they come across a problem that separates them, they resolve it, they live happily ever after. Watch any handful of movies that deals with love, especially romantic comedies, and the formula holds true. This fanciful and innocent view of love could be to blame for the high divorce rates and obsessive/destructive relationships many teens go through…but what if we were to look at love for what it really is?
People tend to forget that to the beauty of love there is an ugly side waiting to break from the surface. Love, stripped of all its romantic ties, is nothing but argument after argument, infidelity, lies, frustration, oppression and lust. Baudelaire once said that "There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude. He wants to be 'two'. The man of genius wants to be 'one'... It is this horror of solitude, the need to lose oneself in the external flesh, that man nobly calls 'the need to love'." Love is nothing more than the need to be with someone to quell the feelings of loneliness. It has nothing to do with finding something in another person to make you stronger or someone to complete you and grow old with, it’s simply a cure for loneliness and nothing more. Baudelaire even goes to say that “There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging from the breast,” which is true because in the end our “love” spawns a child. You need to look no further than the media to see that violence that love brings to people. Teenage abuse is high, date raping is a common occurrence, killing another because of infidelity happens more than you think. The problem here is that people choose to accept one side of love instead of viewing it as a whole...
The problem with love today isn’t the fault of the feeling itself, whether it you want to believe that it is a chemical reaction and nothing more or the souls recognition of its other half, like any other feeling we humans are capable of, comes with its good things and its bad things. Love has inspired masterful works of art, stories that will endure the test of time and feats that will forever ring true in our hearts. The problem today is that love is being marketed to us as a necessity for happiness, Valentine’s Day is probably one of the most profitable holidays of the year, Romantic Comedies, whether good or bad, always make money and for a capitalistic society it is only logical to promote love because it brings in a great influx of cash. Look at any romantic movie in the last couple of years and it always ends with the couple together, joyfully basking in the magnificent and flawless feeling known as love. Every one of these movies follow an age old formula that put hopeless women and tormented boyfriends into the seats of these movies: Boy meets Girl, Boys falls for girl and Girl falls for boy, comedy and/or cute things ensue, they come across a problem that separates them, they resolve it, they live happily ever after. Watch any handful of movies that deals with love, especially romantic comedies, and the formula holds true. This fanciful and innocent view of love could be to blame for the high divorce rates and obsessive/destructive relationships many teens go through…but what if we were to look at love for what it really is?
People tend to forget that to the beauty of love there is an ugly side waiting to break from the surface. Love, stripped of all its romantic ties, is nothing but argument after argument, infidelity, lies, frustration, oppression and lust. Baudelaire once said that "There is an invincible taste for prostitution in the heart of man, from which comes his horror of solitude. He wants to be 'two'. The man of genius wants to be 'one'... It is this horror of solitude, the need to lose oneself in the external flesh, that man nobly calls 'the need to love'." Love is nothing more than the need to be with someone to quell the feelings of loneliness. It has nothing to do with finding something in another person to make you stronger or someone to complete you and grow old with, it’s simply a cure for loneliness and nothing more. Baudelaire even goes to say that “There is no dream of love, however ideal it may be, which does not end up with a fat, greedy baby hanging from the breast,” which is true because in the end our “love” spawns a child. You need to look no further than the media to see that violence that love brings to people. Teenage abuse is high, date raping is a common occurrence, killing another because of infidelity happens more than you think. The problem here is that people choose to accept one side of love instead of viewing it as a whole...
(continued from my last post)
As amazing as love is it can also be one of the most painful feelings in the world. The pain of separation, the hurting of loss and the feeling of being lost and alone when confused all come with the feeling of love. Love is the perfect example of a double edged sword in which it can be a great thing and a painful thing. That's the problem most relationships suffer from...couples fall in love and forget that with beauty and happiness comes everything that isn't associated with it. We become so enamored and disillusioned that the slightest trial comes along and it suddenly breaks everything down. These trials are a necessary evil because it will define just how much you want to be with that person or how far you really are willing to go to have them at your side. Couples forget that a relationship is not easy, it is difficult and it comes with many problems but in the end it is all worth it. Imagine if everything were easy? If everything was easy we wouldn't value it as much as we would if we had to give blood, sweat and tears for it. We need to remind people that love takes hard work, a mutual respect for one another and a deeper understanding of yourself and the other person.
The way the system has promoted love to us has really damaged the purity that lies within it. Any emotion when taken to an extreme is dangerous and love is no different. Society has taught us to believe love a certain way to make money, to lead us down a false path that will only end in destruction. Humans are capable of loving someone truly and deeply, we are capable of beauty. It will require a huge paradigm shift to unveil our true potential but it would be asinine to believe that corporations don’t play on these feelings to get to our wallets.
Love: one of the broadest emotions in today's conditioned society. On the subject of love, a lot like anything else, the notion can play out into many different forms and outcomes depending on experience. Since the day we are born we are taught to learn love, expect love, and reciprocate that love from one person to the next. The way we love is anything but self-taught. Sure, we all carry the desire and the feeling that we need to love, but is that in no way something we've cultivated from our peers, the media, and the general spoon-fed illness of today's modern society? For example, a young child is beaten daily by his father, and also sees his mother take a beating. The outcome of this can turn out in many different ways, but let's just say the child supposes that "this is the way it works", "this is how I show love", "and this is how I tell you that I care". The child grows up and soon enough he is beating his own wife and child as well. Not to mention that love is somewhat of a canvas, you can paint it to look however you want it to. Let's say you're an angry person, and you suppress those feelings of anger, you may use your idea of love to exude those thoughts and those feelings into a form that works best for you. In the end, a lot of what we consider to be love is a thought up ideal and/or a made up feeling to cater to what we "think" we need.
In response to both Luis and Malaika, what Luis is saying does hold group as far as some sociologists are concerned. Some do believe that the concepts of sex and love and monogamy are separate entities. I think monogamy tied with love is a state of living that has been endorsed by a plethora of religions in order to be able to control the masses. As Luis states there is a very small number of animals that are monogamous, and the rate gets even lower in mammalian species. Although we utilize social monogamy as an ideal state in which to reproduce, it does not imply that we must be sexually monogamous. As history has shown, love is not needed to produce children, and monogamy is not essential to love. A good example of this is courtly love. It is possible to love without sex and it is equally possible to have sex in the absence of love. The concept that if someone has sex with someone outside of their relationship is among the greatest betrayals is a western invention. I do not believe that if a partner has sex outside of a relationship it is not that they are not in love with their partner, for sex is an instinct and love is something completely different. They are just expressing instinct although in many cases they truly no longer feel that they love their partners but this feeling is not essential for someone to seek another sexual partner. Thus in theory sex is just sex, which is an animalistic instinct to procreate, although some animal groups, including humans, have the capacity to feel pleasure from sex. And this theory doesn't take into account homosexual sex which is a separate topic altogether.
Love is a word thrown around very easily, yet we know very little of it. I myself don’t think love is an exact science, but the most complex collection of emotions we feel. From a psychological perspective every human seeks attachment and security. Love I find to be more than those, more than a degree of romance, companionship, and care towards another human being. It is not only in relationships that we find love. There is love within yourself, love for money, health, cars, clothes, goals, life, words, everything. Everything imaginable we seek and use love in. So what is love? Can it be categorized with adjectives? Can the scientific method ever solve this question? It is possible but I don’t think it will be defined soon. Love has many branches, and many outcomes, many ways in showing itself. Although it is individual in every sense of the word, there is a right way to love, and it stops where another person is hurt by your love, abused, physically and mentally as we see with the celebrity example. This feeling is what makes us human after all, so let’s use it wisely. One love.
Neurologist proves it, that loves is a neurological effect with the serotonin, testosterone etc. Certain research shows that sometimes even rapid heartbeat could be mistaking as love. The discussion of love and neurological affects are very similar to the mind and the brain. Is there something as the mind? Is there something as love? Love could be an abstract thing just like the mind is; it can be also a figure of imagination planted in our brain during our upbringing. Whatever love is I do believe however it takes all of the big 3 to recognize its presence that’s passion, intimacy, and caring.
Throughout time, the ontological definition of love and its functionality has undergone modification. While the concept of a functional society has 'evolved', so has the framework in which humanity expresses their needs and satiates their desires. In our generation, we find ourselves surrounded with unavoidable external stimulation that directly or subliminally affects our decision making process and what is considered our baseline reality. This once paradoxical immaterial form of gravitational attraction we call love, has been paraded en masse to the point where its potentially altruistic aspects are exploited commercially and as a form of instrumentality for the reinforcement of an irrational status quo. It has become inseparable from our synthetically composed, materialistically unquenchable values. The manner in which we market anything to appease lovers, manufactures a grim cycle of dependency. Commonly we see individuals who continuously flaunt their passionate relationships and never reach a state of wholeness as a result. We use relationships as forms of outlets in which we may plug or unplug depending on circumstance.
An individual who feels incomplete with him/herself would then journey about in a quest to find solace through another.. There, the embarkation could end with success or failure--or a mixture of both. We seem to have reached a point where the marketplace has a direct conduit to our affect; where "an ever-larger part of the population becomes one huge captive audience-- captured not by a totalitarian regime but by the liberties of the citizens whose media of amusement and elevation compel the Other to partake of their sounds, sights, and smells.(1)" We watch and read about other popularized human beings and the form in which they conceive and project their love. Inevitably linked to monetary sustenance and the security of prestigious possessions, we further the serious and evict the opposition.
1) Herbert Marcuse, One-Dimensional Man.
Before we look at the world containing love, let’s look at it without love. What would this planet be like without love, every kind of love? Carelessness, dryness, emotionless. Most emotions derive essentially from the feeling of love. Let us not mistake there are different types of love. The most general categories are the love that is innate and the love that is acquired. And under these categories are Eros, Philos and Agape. Eros is known as erotic love. But to dissect this kind of love I’d say that physical attraction can be without love. However “romantic love” has some sort of desire for one another. Attraction can be a strengthening bond between a man and a woman. However, people often mistake this kind of “desire” for unconditional love. Eros may be a selfish love at times given the idea that when physical attraction fades then there is no more love, in which case this is not true love. And just for my feminist young adult side note: I'd love for the world to stop defending cheating lovers. In the case of TRUE love you do not hurt or betray the one you love. (unless you both are swingers, in that case go for it.) Then there is Philos, a friendship kind of love. Between two people this love is mutual. This category revolves around give and take. So to say that you have Eros and Philos together in one relationship is to say you have a pretty strong relationship. But the highest of all is Agape, unconditional love. For me, this love is the love I have for my family. They can do whatever their heart desires and I will still lay down my life for them. It is selfless and has no boundaries. Love does not intentionally hurt but always cares for. All in all, to me nothing else is important without love. Sure financial stability and other factors of life will contribute to what we define as happiness, but any of this without love amounts to nothing.
It is very hard for me at this point in my life to truly explain to myself what love is. While I agree with the color wheel concept of love, I feel it is incomplete. Just as there is a vast array of hues resulting from infinite combinations of colors, shouldn't it be the same with emotions- if comparing it to this wheel? And can't love transcend into these different kinds as the relationship goes on?
Must it be so technical? So black and white?
Since I believe desire to be a product of the brain (for I attribute it to our chemical drive to procreate), I must admit I believe love is a product of the mind... And the mind, as we have seen, is not easily understood. The explanation of its very existence leaves us with questions, theories, and that simple "I can't explain why or how, but it's there" feeling. I feel that because love is in the mind, we can't every well label it as one would a disease or a limb. Essentially, it is qualia. We each experience love different as time goes by and our lovers change. We might love our husbands and wives of years differently today than we did months prior. We might love someone a certain was and love another entirely differently with the same conviction or intensity. We might feel different elements of compassionate love and passionate love, and then feel entirely different elements or elements that have not yet been categorized in either! Because love is such a subjective emotion, it would be too ambitious to try to label it for a general audience. We can only base it on what we observe (and as we all know, deceit is not so easily observable) or what we simply feel ourselves (a fault, given qualia).
What we can contend to is that the media abuses this emotion and tries to make it marketable. It gives us a false idea of what love SHOULD be rather than portraying it as a unique experience for everyone. It gives us delusions on what our relationships should be like- making things feel all too scripted, and tragic when something doesn't go according to plan. It's staining our potential experience by giving us concepts of what can't even be controlled! And how fair is that to an emotion so complex we can't even put into words? In all fairness to love, we're trying to put into a general definition an emotion no two people feel the same.
I honestly believe love has never been able to be define, sure you can separate it in categories, but not even scientists know what love really is. I admit the system does influence the way we imagine love is, most of us when we are little kids we picture love as being a state of perfection and happiness, at least this is the way is portrayed through Hollywood. Yet as we begin to grow up and experience life, we find out the truth that even though love is an amazing feeling towards a living being, it can also be destructive. As we progressive through life, we learn what love really is. The key is that we all as individuals perceive it differently. Loving one another is possible indeed, we can first start by applying the Golden Rule, which pretty much is a standard of living in which peace and harmony would thrive. Just think about it, no one doing anything that wouldn't want to be done to them. I simply wouldn't steal, so no one would steal from me, I simply wouldn't kill so no one would kill me. I don't think there is one specific way in loving each other, but I am sure we can start by helping one another as much as we can. Love should be given out with expecting nothing in return, its a natural feeling which we all possess. I don't believe money should be associated with money, because its the media which has twisted the idea that in order to obtain love you must have money. I like to believe love overcomes everything, and should be practice more often in today's society.
Just as Malaika said, “Love is a variable. It changes based on the person defining it. And we can never just plant it down to just a few words.” I love my mother, I love animals, I love my friends, girlfriends etc… My perception of love might or is different than most of you guys. Why? Maybe in some culture beating a woman is an act of love or sacrificing an animal is an act of love. In today’s society, it seems as if love is texting and constantly on the phone all day talking about everything and anything. A little life experience; two of my exes… I stop talking to them for 24 hours and they swear I stop loving them. One question, how can you tell a guy/girl you love them but in one month there’s a breakup? I notice many people confuse love with lust, obsession and addiction. To me if I have to define love I would say love is a murderer, medicine, affection, trust, passion, jealousy, hatred, friendship, obsession, infatuation etc…. Even though, it is a contradiction that love can be both affection and hatred. Love could relate to all those nouns and more. The real definition of love is based on one perspective. By the way, I love you all. But in what way?
This commentary seeks to define love in many different contexts. It defines love as passionate as is written about in poetry. It also talks about love as selflessness as in a lasting non passionate friendship type relationship. It also talks about love sustained by cultural prodding through media influence. I can understand distinguishing the first two. There are different kinds of love that foster and are sustained by different kinds of emotions but these have been present as long as the human condition. It does not make sense to me to say that this is sustained by some sort of recent cultural media influence when love has been around as long as man. I cannot agree to put a modern interpretation on a phenomena that is age old. If love precedes modern culture and media, modern culture and media certainly do not give rise to love in its many contexts. Ultimately the most common connotation of love is that of passion and heightened emotion that is the basis for poems, novels, and short stories, songs, and art. Even biblically the story of King David defines the two kinds of love mentioned above. The passionate love of David and Batsheva caused David to send Batsheva's husband to his death on the front line so David may have Batsheva as his wife. Secondly, David was in a friendship wife Jonothan which was based on selfless friendship where each loved the other so they would give up their own life for one another. These contexts have not changed much today.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
Who can define love better than love itself? I am a Christian and for me Love his God himself. And if we take a look in the Bible we will find a clear definition to it. St Paul wrote, “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interest, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the true. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endure all things. Love never fails.” These verses suggest some characteristics of love that is almost rare to find in human nowadays. Let’s start to break down this quote . First, Love is patient and kind meaning that when you love someone you need to be tolerant with him or her in any circumstances. For example, when a mother is showing her baby how to walk or to talk or even when she is bearing him or her she is patient and she does it with kindness because she loves. Second, when you love you cannot be jealous, you should trust your partner in any cases. And when you love you should only want what goods for the companion, you will accept him or her the way he or she is, and if it is really love it will never fade. That is what I believe that love is.
"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."-La Rochefoucauld. I really believe in this statement we all look for this thing called "love" and put so much pressure in a relationship we forget to just live and learn. Family, cultures,and society all have a different way of seeing true love. As much as I have heard about it, I've personally never seen this ghost called "true love", all I can hope is that society won't get in my way of the image of love, and my beliefs and feelings will show me its grave.
DARIO VASATURO
Love. There are many different types of love out there. Love for a person, a career, or an interest. The most thought about is love for another person. I believe before you can truly love someone you need to love yourself. Can we all honestly say we love everything about ourselves? I think with time and experience we learn to love the person we are and will become. In that journey we discover different types of love. Love for a person teaches us new things and make us do things we never thought possible. It can also have its down side we lose our self-esteem become dependent on another person and blame them for our wrong doing, sometimes even losing our own identity. You live and you learn. There is no age or time for love it comes to all of us when its suppose to, some of more than once in a life time. I think people should find a different type of love and stop looking for the love of another human being and love yourself first! because in the end it will find you when you least expect it.
love is patient, love is kind…
It seems as if most of us can agree that love leaves a nasty sting on the soul, yet it's there and we still pursue it. Anyone can say that it's a chemical reaction that happens in your brain and dismiss it. Yes, go ahead and put it in a box and become cold as the years of solitude pass and you find yourself gathering an unusually large amount of cats to throw at children who walk too close to your homes. Or maybe you'd like to live a little and embrace it. Accept it in your life. Yes, we all know the truth that love can hurt us. But so can a trip to the grocery store if someone runs a red light and t-bones you. Yes, this can happen to you, but will it really stop you from getting your Strawberry Kool-Aid and Spaghetti-O's? Moving along, we've all been hurt and may have been treated poorly, and have been beaten, and cheated on , and we can sit here and scream and cry about it because it hurts so bad. Or, we can get over it, maybe have a good laugh at how retarded we were to stay with that person, learn from these mistakes, and find someone who can skillfully make you feel good and treat you right, in all the ways you want them to. If you're not sure exactly what you want, maybe you need a written invitation to go out and meet different people. How does this person make me feel about myself? Do I want someone around me that makes me feel this way? How am I treating them? How do I make them feel? Do we respect each other?
I honestly enjoy falling in love. I really love the excitement of the idea of being with that person. It really is nice to be able to look forward to seeing someone. To start feeling a warm and fuzzy off of the idea of them. That rush of warm emotion that we immerse each other in when we are together is like no other! On the other hand, I feel like with all the games and abuse and manipulation that's running rampant today, it's becoming more difficult for people to just enjoy the presence of another living, breathing creature. It's sad really how many people are bitter about something that makes you feel so great instead of understanding that it's just a powerful and wonderful emotion that comes in and out of us as it pleases, and being grateful that we are alive and able to experience it when it's there, even if it stings like all hell when it's gone.
Love is a very difficult word to define there are three different types of love companionship, family and friends love, love for other people. I believe that all the different types of love can only be defined be the person, it's on the persons perspective. To me companionship love is a strong affectionate feeling, personal attachment. I also believe one must love themselves before they can love someone else. you can express love through many different ways as in poems, art, and writing. I also believe that there cannot be a true definition of love that everyone can agree on, there are different forms of loving that just can't be define one way.
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